I know when i lose someone I love, someone i need the most, someone that i will always care, someone that i always missed but you don't feel the same, it just hurts. You came into my life and i think that you're going to make me feel happy, make me feel special but ends up with breaking my heart, it's like that's the hardest things i could ever go through. I know that no matter how much time has passed, I just can't forget you. The pain, really never goes away. At times when i think that I'm going to be just fine and started to move on, suddenly your voices keep on appears in my mind. Yes, i maybe think that I'm getting better, but the truth is, I'll never be. I will always remember those flashbacks, those memories, those songs that remind me of you and it's like I'm getting hit, again. It's like I've been stabbed in my chest, for the hundredth time. I fall down, i break apart and feel like giving up. I feel like I want to run away from this pain and hide somewhere, but i know that i can't. You've hurt me more than I've ever been hurt. You stole my happiness, you give me pain, you make me suffer but still, I wait for you. There's no end. There's maybe someone who enters my life and i think they're better than you but at the end of the day, i know i will always think about you, i will always care. I think I don't need you, i don't miss you anymore, but trust me, I know i always will.
November of 2016; the end of my fairytales...
One day, you’ll realize that she was the one for you. The girl who stood by your side even if you don’t appreciate her. The girl you chose to let go because you’re full of pride. One day, you’ll realize that the girl you screwed up and left for another girl, was the girl who kept on fighting and defending you when she hears gossips about you.
After 5years of our relationship that doesn't mean anything to you, again you choose to hurt me. You choose to stay away &left me. You blame me for everything when you the one that should be blamed. You come back just to make sure that you can leave me again. Before this, I'm the only one who is loving you so hard. I'm the only one that falls in love with you, just me. I still give your chance even though you always left me hanging or hurts me. I still trust you with all my heart even you always break your own promises. I'm sorry, but I really thought you meant what you promised. Indeed, I'm a very silly and stupid human being for always trust you. and I still choose you even people around me said that you're a bad& worst guy ever. sigh. I was being hurt because of you, can't you even lend me some support? Aren't you being too harsh? Like seriously, "5years is nothing for me" just WOW! Do you know how much pain I was in? Honestly, even now, every time I breathe, it hurts. Is that all? Worry about me in an honest and sincere way. Till the end, you never say, you love me or you're sorry. You end up to choose her; who is more pretty& perfect than me.
One day, you’ll remember the girl who loved you so much that she forgot to love herself. You’ll remember her when you wake up when you eat when you’re about to sleep. She will be your greatest nightmare. You will be the one crying, and she will be the one happy with someone else.
One day, you’ll regret losing her. You lost the girl who did everything for you. You lost the girl who was always there for you when no one else is. You lost her because of your ego. You lost the girl who stayed by your side even if you threw harsh words to her. You lost the girl who tried to understand you when she needed you and you were not there.
One day, you’ll realize that she was the one for you. The girl who stood by your side even if you don’t appreciate her. The girl you chose to let go because you’re full of pride. One day, you’ll realize that the girl you screwed up and left for another girl, was the girl who kept on fighting and defending you when she hears gossips about you.
One day, you’ll see her happy and contented with the life she has when you left her. She will thank you for letting her go and for making her realize she is worth something so much better, that there is someone out there who is willing to do everything for her. She will look into your eyes with no feelings for you at all.
One day, when you see her, you will feel like you’ve been stabbed in your heart a million times for giving up on her. And when that day comes, no matter what you do, no matter what you say to her, it will not make sense because she was already done spending years of her life trying to make you love her as she loved you. But you didn’t.
Long-distance relationship will work if two people involve are strong in faith, love, and respect for each other. And based on my one side love story for 5years, you are not strong enough in faith, love, and respect.
And you girl who is happily building your own happiness over another woman's tears; ggwp.
from your ex.
Hi. Okay, firstly I can't bear with this pain anymore. It hurts me so much. Lately, I can't stop crying. I've been so fucking weak. Day by day, I always the one who get hurt. I always the one who will cry & being so weak
I feel like I'm the weakest person ever.
It's like I'm drowning. The surface is getting blurry. My whole self is getting unbearably vulnerable. Oh, how beautiful to feel out of this world, out of control. My life plays above the surface... So far away... So dull and out of reach. I'm trying to grasp out onto something, so that I can once again, since a long time ago, can breathe. I'm suffocating. Why is no one helping me? Why is no one aware that there's someone dying in plain view. No one saw this coming, no one saw my end. My breathing has been cut off. My strength is out of the hold. My life is on the line. The pain is growing... Swelling... Consuming each second that I'm alive. Kicking, unheard cries for help. This is where it ends. Ragged breaths, blurry vision. This is my death bed. How rare and beautiful it is to even exist. It's time to go. My mind has won. Once again. I've being hurt---
I feel like I'm the weakest person ever.
It's like I'm drowning. The surface is getting blurry. My whole self is getting unbearably vulnerable. Oh, how beautiful to feel out of this world, out of control. My life plays above the surface... So far away... So dull and out of reach. I'm trying to grasp out onto something, so that I can once again, since a long time ago, can breathe. I'm suffocating. Why is no one helping me? Why is no one aware that there's someone dying in plain view. No one saw this coming, no one saw my end. My breathing has been cut off. My strength is out of the hold. My life is on the line. The pain is growing... Swelling... Consuming each second that I'm alive. Kicking, unheard cries for help. This is where it ends. Ragged breaths, blurry vision. This is my death bed. How rare and beautiful it is to even exist. It's time to go. My mind has won. Once again. I've being hurt---
Salam.
Ok, hi stalker. Actually I don't know what I'm doing right now at thiss hour ugh maybe i just cant bear with the pains 😢 it hurts like hell even though I thought I will be strong as a hulk but I failed. Shit always happens when you trust the wrong people. It's like- I trusted you so much, I stood up for you, I was there for you, But what did you do? You betrayed me, you talk shit about me & about my flaws to public, you make others people that close to me don't trust me & hate me, actually what is your point to be my friend? Just wanna see me being low? Or being hate by my closest friends? HAHAHA thankyou bitch! You blame me because you being hurt & get hurt. You hurts me just because you being hurt. You show to others that you the one who being hurts even though the fact is I'm the one who is dying 😏
You don't even ask me why I have been so moody, not talkative person anymore or what ever. YOU DONT EVEN ASK ME OKAY? then you put the whole thing or what happens to us is because of me. You blame me for the faults that I never did. You make me being hated. You dont even talk to me. What do you said to your best friend? "Aliss palaukan aku" wait, siapa palau siapa sekarang? HAHAHA hello, I'm the one who is being 'palau' okay? You never know what I have been through this year. So many things & shit that always make me feel down & stressed out. So many days &nights when you're awake at this hour, staring at the ceiling with so many things on your mind. I feel like my head's eating my heart 😩 & all of you still don't know.. Then you blame me? HAHAHAHA OK
You know what I hate the most? I hate it when I would surrounded by hypocrite person 💁 who is good at making dramas, good at being two faced people, good at make other friends hate me, good at 'putar belitkan' story. Yes, i have to admit it. You really good at that 😏 nah big claps for you, drama queen 👏👏 please stop being friend that not even a friend okay? Stop being hypocrite. I hate it. It hurts me. I trust you, love you more than myself and what did you do? Sigh beb almost every night i cry & hoping that you did not do this to me. It's like- I cant accept the fact that you had betrayed me. I always forgive but I never forget. It hurts like hell okay & it is hard to forget 😩 sigh
Oklah.
I'm sorry, for not being your good friend or not always be there for you but at least I try. I'm sorry, for not being kind & good person, but at least I try. Bye xoxo
ps; you know what, yes aku terasa dengan semua benda yang kau dan kau buat without aku. Aku tahu semuanya. Kau cari sejuta alasan untuk buat kau tak salah, tapi aku. Kau cari beribu alasan untuk buat dunia nampak kau betul, dan aku salah. Satu je lah nak pesan, kalau kau rasa kau still perlukan aku untuk jadi kawan kau, i will always be there for you. Cari aku, insha Allah aku sentiasa ada untuk kau dan kau. Yes, aku tahu kau ramai kawan yang lagi better dari aku, but at least I try to being your good friend 😏
Ok, hi stalker. Actually I don't know what I'm doing right now at thiss hour ugh maybe i just cant bear with the pains 😢 it hurts like hell even though I thought I will be strong as a hulk but I failed. Shit always happens when you trust the wrong people. It's like- I trusted you so much, I stood up for you, I was there for you, But what did you do? You betrayed me, you talk shit about me & about my flaws to public, you make others people that close to me don't trust me & hate me, actually what is your point to be my friend? Just wanna see me being low? Or being hate by my closest friends? HAHAHA thankyou bitch! You blame me because you being hurt & get hurt. You hurts me just because you being hurt. You show to others that you the one who being hurts even though the fact is I'm the one who is dying 😏
You don't even ask me why I have been so moody, not talkative person anymore or what ever. YOU DONT EVEN ASK ME OKAY? then you put the whole thing or what happens to us is because of me. You blame me for the faults that I never did. You make me being hated. You dont even talk to me. What do you said to your best friend? "Aliss palaukan aku" wait, siapa palau siapa sekarang? HAHAHA hello, I'm the one who is being 'palau' okay? You never know what I have been through this year. So many things & shit that always make me feel down & stressed out. So many days &nights when you're awake at this hour, staring at the ceiling with so many things on your mind. I feel like my head's eating my heart 😩 & all of you still don't know.. Then you blame me? HAHAHAHA OK
You know what I hate the most? I hate it when I would surrounded by hypocrite person 💁 who is good at making dramas, good at being two faced people, good at make other friends hate me, good at 'putar belitkan' story. Yes, i have to admit it. You really good at that 😏 nah big claps for you, drama queen 👏👏 please stop being friend that not even a friend okay? Stop being hypocrite. I hate it. It hurts me. I trust you, love you more than myself and what did you do? Sigh beb almost every night i cry & hoping that you did not do this to me. It's like- I cant accept the fact that you had betrayed me. I always forgive but I never forget. It hurts like hell okay & it is hard to forget 😩 sigh
Oklah.
I'm sorry, for not being your good friend or not always be there for you but at least I try. I'm sorry, for not being kind & good person, but at least I try. Bye xoxo
ps; you know what, yes aku terasa dengan semua benda yang kau dan kau buat without aku. Aku tahu semuanya. Kau cari sejuta alasan untuk buat kau tak salah, tapi aku. Kau cari beribu alasan untuk buat dunia nampak kau betul, dan aku salah. Satu je lah nak pesan, kalau kau rasa kau still perlukan aku untuk jadi kawan kau, i will always be there for you. Cari aku, insha Allah aku sentiasa ada untuk kau dan kau. Yes, aku tahu kau ramai kawan yang lagi better dari aku, but at least I try to being your good friend 😏
Assalammualaikum ☺
Hi people! Okay lah, today just luahan hati i ok kikiki
For a few days ni opps maybe not a few days, okay for this year I've been through so many things & problems that always make me stressed out. Yes, this year was my hardship year. & this year jugak spm 😭😭😭 I always crying & being sensitive all the time 😂 me also always let the 'negative vibes' control my brain & being so fucking emotional. & can you imagine that NO ONE know what i had been through but their always put a blame on me for being so emotional & for other things 😭 weh I'm just a human with heart & not a robot okay . normal lah nak sedih bila ada masalah, takkan nak gelak bahagia semua weh gila ke apa haa marah ni 😤 same goes to you lah, you also always emo and sedih bila ada masalah ke apa right? but the problem is you just always dan suka cari salah orang tanpa nak muhasabah diri haa 😏 Nabi sendiri ajar umatnya agar sentiasa bersangka baik. Well, at least if aku biar negative vibes control aku pon aku still belajar untuk bersangka baik dengan people around me okeh 💁
gaiss,
this year je dah ramai yang leave me & never comeback even all of them dah janji nak stay huhuhu bigbang pon dah lama buat comeback, yang dah pergi tu bila nak comeback ke life aku balik weh 😂😭 not just that, my 'bff' also said nasty about me to others just to show kau lagi the best kebaboom & perfect af 😏 hey cmon lah, mana ada manusia sempurna zaman ni weh💁 you know what It's like- I trusted you so much, I stood up for you, I was there for you. But what did you do? You betrayed me. So-called-bestfriend 💁💁 It's normal okay to tweets about what I feel or apa yang terlintas di benak fikiran ku ecewah at twitter or update moments at my wechat also other media social apps & like pepatah melayu siapa makan cili, dia terasa pedasnya (idk that pepatah right or not but it sound like that lah Haha 😂) So, if terasa dengan tweets ke apa maknanya ada buat dosa and betul lah apa yang aku tweet tu huhuhu more painful & sakit hati gila namatey bila kau dah minta maaf and try to fix the friendship or any relationship but all of them never stop blaming on you, ignore you, buka aib you, palau you and more lah. Kang bagitahu semua kang nampak betul tak puas hatinya huhu
I know who always said nasty about my flaws, i know who is hypocrite, i know who always tell to others that they always by my side but the truth is not, i know who always put a blame on me, i know who hate me. I know all of them. But dont worry, maybe I'm good a revenge but aku dah maafkan sebab memaafkan lebih baik dari meminta maaf. For those yang selalu jaja cerita buruk aku merata, kita jumpa di padang masyar eh? Kau sendiri dah boleh beza mana baik mana buruk, mana dosa mana pahala, and kau pun dah besar panjang dah boleh tahu mana salah right? Terima kasih buat orang benci aku, elakkan diri dari aku, dan tolong sama sama sebar fitnah baik kau tu. Yanh dah percaya and sama sama sebar fitnah and buka aib aku, haa terima kasih juga ye huhu okay i know my life was fucking pathetic with haters huhu no doubt 😂😂
but ingat, satu jari kau tunding dekat aku, empat lagi dekat diri sendiri. All of us tahu tiada manusia yang sempurna dan lumrah manusia melakukan kesilapan. Kau bukan Tuhan nak hukum aku, kau bukan Tuhan nak label aku ahli neraka, dan kau bukan Tuhan untuk judge aku ini itu. Please bersyukur yang Allah dah tutup aib kau kat dunia, tapi di akhirat kelak jangan meratap hiba pula bila aib kau dibuka. Terima kasih kerna tak pernah jaga aib aku dan sebarkan ke dunia. Tidak mengapa, aku maafkan. Dan aku akan sabar selagi sabar. Thanks for all your kindness haters 💕
Okay, bye 🙋
Assalammualaikum.
tired already. just when i thought im abt to fell the happiness i once lost, then here i am again, in depression like i was before. maybe even worse. im so weak . but one thing, i am so good at pretending now. even better than before. how can the same thing happen to me? the same shit keeps happening and i dont know what i did wrong to deserve all of those shits. i did not disturb anyone or making other people's life suffer. im the one who is suffering right now. cant you see? i dont know what i want, i dont know what i feel, its like unsaid feeling. like im gone, im gone to another world.
i was going to give my whole heart and being nice to everyone and this is what i get in the end? its hurt. Hurts like hell tho. Sigh . i've wasted my night crying for the same thing, over and over again. i dont know what should i do im just, not strong enough. Sigh
&
Can all of you tell me what im doing right now? Here alone without anyone, just myself at here. No ones know im dying right now. At this moment i just feel like giving up. I just feel like want to give up with everthing. Give up. Can someone take me to the reality back? Can someone wake me up from this nightmare? Someone? Sigh i dont think so there is someone who is willing to help me. Nevermind, i will continue live in this nightmare.
Crying yourself to sleep has got to be the worst thing ever.
That’s an obvious statement but it’s different thinking about crying yourself to sleep than when it actually happens. Your breathing ends up almost impossible. Fear of waking anyone else in the house with loud sobs or gasping for air. Your whole body tenses up. You can try cuddling up with your pillow, stuffed animal, anything, but what does that help with? You’re still trembling. If anything, it makes it worse. You cry harder, louder- only trying to be quiet- you gasp for air while letting out thousands of tears. Your body shuts down. Your eyes keep streaming. Your mind goes blank. Maybe you fall into a dream, a nightmare, but you’re fast asleep. When you wake up, you can’t remember exactly how you fell asleep, but you know your crying was unbearable. Your eyes still hurt from all the fluids leaving them. You can’t help but to curl into a ball and think. Try to remember how it all happened. You don’t even want to do anything else. You just sit in your bed, trying your hardest to get up and live the day like last night didn’t happen. But you can’t help but to think, ‘is that how tonight’s going to go, too?’ sigh
