I never thought that I will be soo dumb for not realize that pain eating me slowly and make me lose myself. My biggest problem to-be-honest is always giving chance and look the good in any situation that happened to me until it makes my mental health become worst. Obviously, it's not good for me, but the problem is in me and myself only. I don't have the audacity to blame anyone other than myself.
I always ask myself recently,-
"How can I love someone when I don't even love myself?"
"How can someone hurting me when all I give was love?"
"Why did everyone loves to see me hurting?"
"Am I not worth being loved by anyone?"
"Am I that sucks for people keep on hurting me?"
and the most hurtful question that I ask myself was--
"Should I just die to make sure this pain stops?"
That question is proof of how weak I am and how dumb I was just to make everything goes to what I want. When the fact is none that I can make to go as what I want lol
I'm not sure when will I be alright or when will I win this battle. But I just hope that everything will be just fine and alright for me in the future. I always want to be happy, but I realize that I should seek happiness in myself, not anyone else. Let's learn to be happy with ourselves and love ourselves more. Fighting!
Love, Alice x
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